Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?

Everyone says that forgiveness is important. I used to think that it was really easy. I guess that all of us think that the virtues of life are easy in the abstract, until you really have to face the challenge of living them out head on, even when it is hard. The truth is that if we do not forgive, the person or the event will continue to control us and eat us alive. It will then spread to others and destroy them as well. Unforgiveness is the chief culprit in the devastation of relationships, communities, and society as a whole. It is the Devil's Symphony of human relational pain.

But, knowing this doesn't make it any easier. It is hard because when you have been hurt, wounded, and put down, to forgive almost says that you don't matter. People can go off scot free and you just have to deal with it. Everything in you wants vengence and to at least know that others understand and commesurate with you. But, life is not found there. You can never get back the moment, recover the hope and innocence that was lost, or restore the joy that you had before your heart was ripped out. You can never go back. It is what it is. Someone, Some Other, has to step in, because it is past you. This is why true forgiveness is only supernatural. God must intervene and you must let Him. You must see that the pain was taken by Jesus on the cross and only because of what He has done can you forgive. Forgiveness takes faith in the One who gave His life to forgive you. The pain does matter. The lost hope is significant, and it matters most to the One who created you, to the One who gave you life and knew you before you were born. True forgiveness flows from the heart of God to us and through us. We receive it because of His love and we give it because we are transformed by His amazing grace. To withhold forgiveness to someone who has hurt you can only mean that you have not received or experienced the forgiveness of a loving Father for your own sins. We have all hurt people. We have all caused pain. It is universal in the human condition and is why we all need a Savior. Let Him heal your heart. Let Him speak to the broken places and restore the shattered image of God that He placed there. You are important. You do matter. You matter to God. Let Him be your shelter and defender. Let Him be the One who heals. Let Him be the One who loves and forgives through you. Let Him be God.